ࡱ> jliE@ 8bjbj .`/~dddddddx8t,$x:2\rI:K:K:K:K:K:K:$;RN>o:dLLLo:dd:LddI:LI:(R5dd8P ONb6I::0:6>x$><8xxdddd>d8"vo:o:xx$ xx Download - Luck and love The following tips on how to be lucky in love are based on the 7 secrets of Luck that are covered in The Book of Luck brilliant ideas for creating your own success and making life go your way by Heather Summers and Anne Watson. To find out how lucky you generally, then complete The Luck Questionnaire on  HYPERLINK "http://www.switchtosuccess.co.uk" www.switchtosuccess.co.uk. . It takes less than 5 minutes and you will receive your personal Luck Profile instantly by email The Seven Secrets of Luck 1. Control-Ability Control-Ability is about choosing and flexing our response to events and any situation that arises no matter how difficult it may be. It is an acknowledgement that while we may have no control over events that happen to us, we are fully responsible for all our results. Result? Less blaming the unkind hand of fate. Increased lucky breaks. Control-ability and romance Check your mental starting point. Are you working from the premise that somehow love will find you or that finding a great partner is actually down to you? Lucky people take responsibility for their own success in finding great relationships. Sitting and waiting for the phone to ring or for Prince Charming to materialise out of nowhere will not bring romance. So start from the assumption that you will find romance - and not that romance will find you. Take control of your luck. Assume responsibility for finding success in love and romance Dont let the past influence the future. If you have had bad relationship experiences in the past, make sure these do not prejudice future ones. Everyone has been hurt at some stage. Choose what learnings to take from these difficult situations and move on 2. Stick-Ability Stick-Ability is about perseverance, tenacity and following things through - even when the odds are against. It is about finishing off what we start. Result? Achieving goals no one else thought possible. Stick-Ability and romance Be clear what you want and follow through. Stick-ability in a relationship is about commitment. This does not mean sticking to a relationship only from habit. Its about being clear whats important to you and what you want, finding that person and then following through. Set yourself up for success. Many people make the mistake of looking for the perfect partner in looks, age, education, personality, hobbies, etc. Sometimes this makes it difficult to find someone in the first place and easy to give up the search. At other times it means rejecting someone on a first date rather than sticking with them and getting to know them. For others these unrealistic expectations lead to serial disappointment and disillusionment and the person may then begin to label themselves as unlucky in love. Being very clear about the one or two most important must-haves makes it easier to find a number of different partners to choose from and then (if wanted) to find a long term partner Rekindle romance during the tough times. If you have found a relationship worth investing in, then its doubly important to persevere during the tough times. Re-kindling romance can help you get through. Being romantic can take many forms from a card or a bunch of flowers, to a romantic dinner or simply some extra love and affection. 3. Risk-Ability The confidence to take a chance rather than plumping for the safe bet. Having an open mind-set and a willingness to explore and experiment with new ways of thinking and doing. Result? More lucky opportunities Risk-ability and romance Do things you never did before! Be open-minded. Date lots of different people people who, at one time you might have not considered because they did not fit some narrow stereotype of what was acceptable. (Would my mother friends/colleagues approve?) Have fun. Just go for it. Try out what your date loves doing - whether its opera or horse-racing or crosswords. There are so many benefits to developing your willingness to explore and experiment. You become a more rounded person; you discover areas of interest and skills that you never knew you had; you challenge your own boundaries and assumptions and grow in the process. You become a more interesting person. You will have stories to tell your grandchildren! 4. Sense-Ability Sense-Ability is the skill of using all our senses and feelings to heighten our awareness of lucky opportunities. It includes using our Emotional Intelligence, gut feel and intuition. It recognises the value of coincidence. Result? Confidence to rely on inner voice Sense-Ability and romance Use your antennae. . Be alert for any information that will help you find romance. This could be overhearing a chance remark and following up on it, spotting someone who looks like they are feeling left out or isolated and making contact, picking up the signals from someone who is interested in you and so on. Use all your senses to create lucky experiences. Sense-ability is experiencing passion, but not being at the mercy of emotion. Make use of all your 5 senses and your sixth sense to increase your luck when dating. There are many ways to do this. Here are some examples Sight: look your best and feel attractive all the time. This doesnt necessarily mean being dressed up to the nines rather it means looking friendly, relaxed, happy, approachable. You never know when you will come across the person of your dreams. It may not be at a speed dating session or in a singles bar. It may be in the supermarket, walking the dog, on the train, at a friends house. Sound: Be a good listener. Its important to be someone whos interesting to talk to of course, but far more important and far more unusual is giving your time and attention to listen to others about whats is important to them. This builds trust, rapport and is therefore a great foundation for any relationship Touch: physical attraction is important, but if you are looking for the earth-moving experience the first time you shake hands with someone, maybe your expectations are a little too high! Take it slow and let it grow Taste; food and wine are often linked to romance. Build up the feel-good factor with a date by choosing where and what you eat and drink carefully. Youll have some great romantic memories Smell: Of course its great to smell good, but smell here may also be connected to the sixth sense intuition. Its possible to smell fear or anxiety or insincerity. Pay attention to these signals and check them out 6th Sense intuition Listen to your intuition when dating. What is it telling you? You may feel very physically attracted to a person, but something is telling you that all is not well. Alternatively you may not instantly fancy someone, but you somehow know that they are a good person and someone it would be good to get to know 5. Socia-Ability Socia-Ability is the knack of (talent for) relating easily and well to other people in a wide variety of contexts. It includes being comfortable with striking up conversations with people we dont know, being proactive about keeping up with the people we do and generally going out of our way to network. Result? More lucky coincidences Socia-Ability and romance Get out and about. Few people ever found romance by staying at home and waiting for the doorbell to ring. Even Cinderella found a way to get to the ball when all avenues appeared closed to her! Create your own luck in romance by networking. The more people you meet the more likely you are to meet someone you like. Be someone people like being with. Meeting people is only the first step. How good company are you? Check out your social skills, your conversation skills your listening skills, your etiquette skills. Make the person you are with feels good about themselves and is proud to be with you. Practise and brush up on these skills so that you attract others to you What goes round comes round. Treat everyone round you the way you would like to be treated yourself. This includes the waiter, the taxi driver, the shop assistant. If its your first date and you are not instantly keen on the person do you still treat them with courtesy and respect? Remember that what goes round comes round. They way you treat others is the way you are likely to be treated 6. Percept-Ability Percept-Ability is all about how we look at life, events, ourselves and others. Do we have positive expectations? Do we always see (or at least search for) the plus side of negative events or people? Is our attitude to life optimistic? Do we shrug off (small) worries and concerns? If we do, this is true percept-ability! Result? Turn bad luck into good Percept-Ability and romance Check out your negative scripts. Ask yourself the following questions and write down your answers. What do you expect from a relationship? What are your scripts? How do you see yourself? For example are you saying negative things like I find it hard to make relationships work/ why do my relationships always fail? Im just no good when it comes to long term relationships or I always seem to attract the bastards/ the ugly ones/ the ones with no money/ the ones with issues Im just not attractive to men/women As soon as I give yourself wholeheartedly to someone they leave me. .You may have acquired these negative assumptions and beliefs because of previous bad experience(s). The sad part is that the more you believe them to be true, the likelier you are to go out and find the sort of person who will confirm that belief and then you can have the dubious satisfaction of knowing that you were right Spring clean your negative beliefs. Write down a fresh set of scripts about yourself and your beliefs about romance and relationships. Feel how good it would be if these were true. They might go something like this: I know that I am an attractive person, that I have a lot to give in a relationship and I attract the sort of people who appreciate me for what I am. I enjoy being good at relationships Dating is fun and so on. Imagine situations in the future where these are true. Visualise them over and over again. You have now set your stall out to be lucky in love 7. Person-Ability Person-Ability is knowing ourselves well enough to recognise what works well for us and what can work against us. This self awareness is the skill to use those aspects of our personality which will naturally support us in being lucky. Result? The harnessing of all our natural luck skills Person-Ability and romance Know who you are. We all have strengths and weaknesses. The question is do we know what they are? Do you overplay your strengths and ignore the weaknesses that make it difficult for you to find romance? Or (maybe more likely) do you overplay your weaknesses and not acknowledge your strengths? Do a self-assessment. Find someone who you trust enough to give you some honest feedback on how you come across to others. Take on board their positive feedback and also choose which areas of yourself you might need to work on if you are to be lucky in your quest for romance Be the best of who you are. Do you say Well if I go out with someone, then they just have to take me as I am? This is fine on one level in the sense that you are being real and not putting on an act. It is less attractive when this amounts to not considering others and expecting them to put up with things that you would not tolerate from them. People in love are true to themselves and yet can put the other person first at the same time. They dont expect the other person to change they work on changing themselves. If you are not getting what you want in your relationships, then ask yourself what changes you can make that will give you better results. Persisting in the sort of behaviours that dont work is the road to unhappiness and unfulfillment and you will end up being described as someone who is unlucky in love. 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